My Nessie, my angel
by kelley17
Summary: This is the relationship between Renesmee and Jacob as she grows. Now, I know that Nessie grows very quickly, so the ages mean what she looks like physically, not the actually amount of years she has been in the world.
1. Newborn: Everything

NEWBORN:

Amazing. Simply and utterly amazing how my life had been flipped up side down in the smallest fraction of an instant. She, the only she in the world as far as I was concerned, had changed everything.

"Nessie." I crooned to the newborn baby in my arms as I rocked her.

Blondie snarled from behind me. If anyone was upset about the whole imprinting thing, it was her. Because she loved Renesmee, and she hated me. Now we were tied together in more ways than I would every be able to explain. Renesmee was mine and she was repulsed by that fact. Despised me being connected to that precious baby more than anything.

Of course Bella hadn't been born new yet. It was a probable theory that it would be Bella that would take the cake in the hatred of my imprinting. In fact, I was sure it would be her that would be more furious than anyone. I shuddered imagining her reaction.

According to the Cullens newborns had no control, none at all, dangerous and strong, and when angry could completely obliterate anything in a second with out proper restraint.

Me being the anything in Bella's case.

But I couldn't find it in me to be worried with Nessie in my arms.

She smiled, even at one day old, she had shocking articulation, could understand and comprehend most anything. And showed emotion not only in her glorious face, but in the special talent, I had grown accustomed too.

Her warm hand moved delicately to my cheek as she showed me my own face, placing my name with it.

"Yes." I whispered to her.

She brought her hand back into her lap, and smiled again.

I couldn't help but smile back at her.

After all, it was my entire world in my arms, the only reason I was put on this earth was cradled there. How could you not smile at that? It was impossible. Renesmee had me owned the very instant I had locked my eyes on the chocolate color of her own. She had me completely hooked, anything she wanted I would do everything in my power to give her, because that's what she deserved.

"My turn!" Rosalie snapped hastily. Reaching out to grab Nessie. "You've held her enough, she's probably sick to her stomach with the stench your radiating. Poor thing, she didn't have a choice in anything, and now she's stuck with a mutt following her around. Poor thing." she growled, her gold eyes shooting daggers in my direction, until they turned toward Renesmee. Then they emended and turned loving and adoring.

"Isn't that right, baby girl!" she cooed. "Jacob smells rotten, doesn't he?" she asked, smothering her as she nuzzled her face, grabbing her quickly away from me. Anger filled my every extremity. No one took my angel away from me. No one.

A few days ago, that anger would have consumed me, thus making me rumble into a creature completely non human.

But knowing I was only a few feet away from the object of my everything I stayed calm. Knowing that one wrong move could hurt her I kept a firm hold on my self. Anything that could remotely cause her any sort of harm, I shied away from.

All I could do was watch her and wait patiently to feel the warmth of her little body in my arms once more.

Rosalie grabbed a bottle and begin feeding her, while trying to feed her. Renesmee made a face and moved her head away from the tip of the bottle.

Rosalie looked down at her concerned. But her concern was nothing compared to the intense, gut wrenching, worry that I felt now. Was she ill? I couldn't bear seeing her hurt.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my loud husky voice echoing through the open mansion.

Renesmee reached for Rosalie, putting her hand on her cheek, her eyes pleading.

"What does she want?" I pressed.

Rosalie groaned.

"Why, Renesmee?" she asked.

"What. Does. She. Want." I asked again, each word it's own sentence.

Rosalie turned her attention toward me, the scariest look in her golden eyes.

"It seems she would prefer you feed her." she snarled. And instantly I wanted Nessie away from her much to strong, angry hands.

I hastily went up to the vampire, going much closer than I would have ever gone to a leech. Unless of course I was tearing them to shreds. However, I wasn't, and though I was much closer to the vamp than I would have liked, the thought was completely over ruled when Renesmee reached for me. Nothing else mattered in that endless moment besides what that magnificent creature wanted. Nothing at all could have distracted me from the god like face.

She fit perfectly in my arms when I held her, somehow she knew exactly how to form her body into the shape of my cradled arms, or maybe it was me shaping my arms to fit her body, Either way the two of us fit together like two corresponding puzzle peices, matching perfectly.

Rosalie stretched out her arm as far as it would go to hand me the bottle. I smelled the pure scent of human blood, it was not animal. I knew instantly I should have protested this, I was supposed to be stopping this very thing from accuring. The consumption of human blood, I was built to have that avoided. But Renesmee eagerly went for the bottle, her forehead creased, her face impatient. And I knew I couldn't speak any sort of arguement against it. If this is what she wanted, human blood, then so be it. After all, it wasn't like anyone's life was being forfeited, all the blood was donated.

I went to sit on the couch as Nessie began to suck it down. She held the bottle on her own, even at a day old. As the liquid inside begin to dimenish, Renesmee's eyes began to shut slowly. Eventually, I could no longer see them as she begin her silent snores. I just leaned back, and watched. If anyone was around me I wasn't aware of them. All I saw was her, all I heard was her; her heartbeat, her even breathing, all I could smell was her sweet, but not sickly sweet, scent.

I just stared openly.

My Nessie, my angel.


	2. Age 1: Limitations

AGE ONE:

I couldn't feel anything. I was sure my body was trying to protect itself. Imprinting had a way of doing that. It changed everything, and it knew the limitations I had. This very moment being one of the limitations my body now faced.

All of the Cullen's had left the house in search of Alice and Jasper. And I was left with Nessie, still curled up on the couch, sleeping, completely unaware of the danger she was going to face. Her mind surely was still protected without the threat the rest of them now knew of.

The threats too of course, now revolved around me as well.

Because, Nessie was part of me, every part. And anything that troubled her, troubled me just the same, if not more.

I could feel the panic start coming, it crawled as it began its way to my heart. And when it finally made it I fell to the ground beside her, My stomach churned with fear I didn't know I was capable of feeling.

This couldn't be real. Renesmee was innocent, sweet, and young. Much to young to have her life ripped away from her all ready. The Volturi the Cullen's spoke of, couldn't do that. I wouldn't let them. But the way they spoke, none of us would be able to stop them. There was positively no hope. None at all, and that was what petrified me to no end. Because, my angel deserved to live. She had too, the world wouldn't function right without her.

She stretched on the couch, I knew she was preparing to awaken.

I tried desperately to stop those tears from overflowing, but I couldn't make them stop. The thought of her gone, hurt too much.

She opened her eyes, smiling, until that smile turned into a frown, a worried frown. She leaped up and placed her tiny hands around my neck, tapping the back of it with gently pats. One hand moved to my cheek.

_What's wrong? _She thought urgently. She looked around the room, and I saw the desperation in her thoughts as she saw the house was empty besides the two of us.

Water began to dribble down her cheeks too.

"Did they leave me, Jacob?" she asked, her high soprano voice echoing.

"Shh. No, baby girl." I said as I gained the strength to lift her small body. I cradled her against me heated chest. "They'll be back, I promise." I whispered in her ear, and the water dripping down my neck came to a sudden stop.

She looked up at me with her warm brown eyes.

"Why are you crying?" she asked as she reassuringly rubbed my cheeks. She was comforting me, how messed up was that? I was the one who should have been reassuring her. Not the other way around.

She spoke again, this time like an adult determined to get an answer.

"Jacob, what are you not telling me?" she said sternly.

She looked one and she was sitting here, scolding me. She was just much too perfect to destroy. I would come up with a solution, a plan, to keep her heart beating. That was the only thing that filled my mind now, finding her a way out of this.

"Jacob.." she began again, this time pleading.

I couldn't refuse those eyes, even if I hadn't imprinted on her, and I wasn't literally forced to do what she pleased, I was sure anyone couldn't refuse her.

"We're in a bit of a pickle, Ness. Some people aren't so happy about our family and it might be a little tricky too find a way around them. Don't worry, precious." I said as I smoothed back a ringlet of her hair.

I wouldn't speak of the absolute fact that they all were sentenced to death, sure she had the capacity to understand that, but she was just so small, so fragile. She shouldn't have to endure that pain. That I would keep from her.

I bent down to kiss the top of her head.

"Do mommy and daddy know?" she asked.

"Yes sweetheart, they know. Just try and go back to sleep. You've never been up this early. Your parents might get mad at me." I said and tried to smile, it felt wrong even as I did. But, when she showed me my face again, I realized just how pathetic I had looked.

If I was going to try and persuade Nessie into thinking this wasn't as big of a deal as it actually was, then I surely was going to have to try harder than that. She saw right through it, she was a smart little girl, and soon enough things would fall into place if I acted like that.

"Come on, sweetie, go back to sleep. I know your tired." I begged her.

She showed me my face, the huge dark circles under my eyes. And then the image changed to one of the two of us on the couch sleeping.

Once her hand was back in her lap, she pointed at me with the other, her eyes completely and totally serious.

"I mean it, Jacob. Please rest."she said. "I close my eyes when you close yours."

And I could actually laugh this time, because I knew I would find this precious child a way out of this.

She seemed to smile when a did, her giggles ensued after my deep chuckle. The sound was musical.

"All right baby girl." I said as I pulled her closer to myself.

And then I pretended to close my eyes. With the Cullen's on high alert there was no way I was going to risk sleep. But, Renesmee, though wise way beyond her years, was still a child. She trusted those around her, the ones she loved. And I hated to pretend with her, but she needed rest, and I needed to protect her.

I waited to hear her snores, she placed her hand on my cheek and showed me warm and pleasant images. I heard her sigh and felt her cuddle closer into my side. And then the images in my head began to not make sense. Random pictures with no connections, colors, faces, my face most frequently, and a slight edge of fear to the dream. The fear only was there with the concern of her family. She had no idea the danger we all faced, she was only worried about the stress it caused. She wanted everyone happy, not on edge.

As soon as I knew she was totally under I opened my eyes, to see her eyes shut.

I could smell the clan coming closer and I knew it would be soon when the Cullen's arrived back in the house.

Edward came first and the despair in his eyes brought back mine, it couldn't be hidden forever. But it was Bella's face that scared me the most, even as a vampire I had never seen her more perturbed with sorrow. Looking at her face was actually painful.

I knew the answer to my question before I ever even asked it.

"There is no way around it. Is there? We are all going to die?" I asked, my eyes stressed on Nessie.

"Yes, Jacob. We will do all we can, but Alice and Jasper are gone." Edward answered for me, his voice hazy and distant. I faintly remembered his voice when he had told me about Bella, my memories form that time were dim, as Renesmee was now the center of my life. It was strange how much color and vibrancy had been missing from that time. Now that I had her, everything was filled with light, and it was difficult to remember anything without that plangency she gave my life now.

"We have to protect her." I whispered, my voice cracking in the strangest of all places.

"I know." Bella said, her voice sharp like ice crystals. "We all three will do everything to keep her safe." she added, her voice determined. Edward and I, both, nodded in agreement.

And I knew that this was true, somehow Nessie would be saved. She had to be because she was everything the world needed.

I rested my chin on her head as she slept. My thoughts completely wrapped around everything about her. Yes, without her, the world would be nothing. An empty place.

My Nessie, my angel.


	3. Age 2: Free

AGE TWO:

It was difficult to comprehend that it was really and truly over. It had seemed like we all were doomed, completely destined to face death. But here we stood, watching them retreat back like the cowards they were. The Volturi had chickened out.

"Are they gone for good?" Nessie whispered in my ear as she watched her parents embrace.

I nodded. Renesmee giggled on my back.

"Yeah!" she squealed.

My wolfy bark echoed her chuckles.

I felt her climb off my back and she ran back to her parents, trudging me with her.

Edward smiled down indulgently at her, somehow ripping himself away from Bella.

"Daddy?" Renesmee asked, hesitant. She reached out her arms for him to pick her up. Clearly, she wasn't sure if he wanted her. That silly little girl.

I went deep into the botany to phase into my human self as Edward scooped the bronze haired beauty up into his arms.

It took me all of two seconds to make my way back to her.

Relief began to make an appearance. That hazy distant future of hers we all worried about was now crystal clear. She would forever be young. Forever be perfect and healthy. The angry leeches that had been the center of everything for months and very nearly combusted in fear as they ran away. They wouldn't come back, not for a long time, and when they did we would prepare once more. She was now invincible, as she should be.

After Edward had squeezed her and kissed every part of her that wasn't covered, he gingerly placed her on the dirt ground, nodding in my direction. A sign of approval. Nessie gleamed back at her father. placing her hand on his cheek. He chuckled.

"Your welcome, Renesmee Carlie Cullen." he crooned in a chirpy voice.

And then my little squirt ran as fast as she could up to me. She wrapped her arms around my knee, and hopped on my foot.

Her quiet hysterics were the most beautiful sound my ears had every had the pleasure of hearing. It felt so nice to hear her laugh again. She had been pressured and concerned and now I could see in her eyes the stress just melting away. Those brown irises radiated with relief. She could be young again. Free of worry.

"Hey munchkin." I mumbled. I let my body fall to the wet snowy soil, taking her carefully down with me. I sighed as she crawled onto my bare stomach. All I had on was a pair of cut off slacks, I wasn't exactly thinking about my ensemble when we were preparing for the massive fight. So this was all I had, Nessie didn't seem to mind.

"Does this mean we can play now, Jacob?" she asked, twirling her body around so she was sitting, Indian-style, on my abdomen, as I rested my head on a huge spruce.

I lifted my hands to her cheeks and gently rubbed my thumbs along her cheeks, just marveling at her perfection.

"Yes, Nessie. We can play all you want." I agreed easily. How could I not oblige to such a face? Renesmee didn't even know how much power that face held, once she found out what her capabilities were, she would be unstoppable. She would have the entire world in her much too capable hands.

"Anything I want?" she pressed even further.

I chuckled, she was much too spoiled.

"Anything you want, Nessie, honey, whenever you want."

She hugged me closer to her and tossed her backpack off easily.

Bella chuckled as she came up behind the two of us. Her husband watched longingly as his eyes filled with desire. Desire to be by the three of us. But, he was busy entertaining the witnesses with stories. And Nahuel, who continuously stared at Bella, then his eyes would drift to Renesmee. That made me uncomfortable. But Edward was bombarding him with questions, making sure of everything that would warn them of the things Nessie was to face.

"What was in that thing?" I asked her above Nessie's head.

"Passports, cash...letters..." her voice spiked at the last word.

I arched one thick brow in her direction.

"For you and Renesmee. Charlie and my mom. Everything you would have needed to begin a new life." she said and then reached down for her daughter. I didn't protest as I saw the agony in her golden eyes.

I raised the black leather bag with questioning eyes, asking her for permission to look. She nodded as she kissed her daughter's head.

"The letters for all of you should be on the top." I almost laughed at her words. 'Should' wasn't a word in the vampiric dictionary. She would have known whether or not they were on top or not. And sure enough. Four perfectly creased papers were rested on top mounds of cash. At leas two hundred thousand dollars was bundled there. I had never seen s much hard cash in my entire life, even all of it added up together.

"Jeez, Bells, think you gave us enough cash?" I smiled at her.

She just rolled her eyes.

I lifted the first paper, Renesmee was scrawled across the top The second, read Jacob.

"Do you mind if I read them?" I asked.

"Go on."

_Renesmee,_

_My sweet, darling, little girl. Life has a way of blessing us in ways we never thought possible, never even knew existed. Renesmee, my child, you were one of those miracles. The very moment I realized you were real, I loved you. I love you more than I could ever tell you. Unexpected you came crashing into the world, affected everyone in it. Jacob, especially. I know how much your daddy loves you. Never had he anticipated a child, let alone a little girl. But, come you did, and I know he would want me to pass his love. I know at first it didn't seem like it, but you rocked his world as much as you did my own. Your father couldn't love anything more._

_You must be so scared, but I know Jacob will protect you. He loves you just as much as Edward and I do. I'm going to miss you oh so very much. But the short time I spent with you, means forever for me. I have had more joy in my life than I deserved. And now it is time for you to grow and I know I won't be there for all the moments that will be most important for you. And that is why I am so saddened. Because I want to watch you grow and prosper. I want to love you much more than what I've had the chance too. And sadly, I won't get that chancre._

_And knowing that you are my daughter, you will put the blame on yourself. Don't. Never do that. Because it is in no way your fault. You were one hundred percent pure and innocent. One hundred percent good. This wasn't your fault. Not at all._

_I hope I've been a good mother. I hope you know how much I loved you, how I would have freely ended my life to secure yours. My sweet Renesmee, please know how I loved you. If there is one thing you can do for me, it is to just believe that._

_There is so many things I want to say, but I can't seem to find the words to say those very things. I can't see what life will bring you, I don't know what words of wisdom I should pass down. But, when you need me just think, and I'll be there, helping you in the right direction. Follow your heart when it tells you what to do. Follow your instincts, baby girl, do what feels right, what feels best._

_Be good for Jacob. And live as you would have if I and your father were still there. Again, I can't tell you enough, I love you, I adore you. I will forever be watching over you, guiding you._

_You'll always be my little angel sent from above. Goodbye, sweetheart. I'll never stop loving you. No matter where I go, you'll always be in my heart._

_Mommy_

I put the letter down slowly and gave a grim smile to my best friend. I couldn't imagine how she was able to say goodbye to her. I wouldn't have been able to move my hand to write the letters in the words.

Nessie was being slowly swayed in Bella's protective arms, slowly beginning to drift to sleep. Her eyes seemed clouded and distant. I got to my feet and went to kiss her cheeks. Edward darted to his wife's side. Renesmee eagerly reached her little hands out to go to him.

"Hi, my darling." he said as he maneuvered her body into a more comfortable position. She placed her hand on his cheek. And I began to read my letter, knowing Renesmee would be entertained without me for a few minutes, and protected (there were still quite a few non veggie leeches left).

_Jacob:_

_We've had our struggles. You being the stubborn man you are, and look what happened. I can't believe I said she wouldn't be good enough for you. She is much too good for you._

_But, you'll always be my best friend, no matter what. And I'll always love you. Finally, we both have that one person we simply can't function without. And to think you never thought you would imprint?_

_And now how horribly ironic is it that everything is coming crashing down brick by brick, boulder by boulder._

_I know you'll take good care of her, you out of everyone will make her the most happy. I wouldn't, couldn't, bare handing her off to someone else, it has to be you. You without her would be like me without Edward, and nothing positive would come out of that. As long as my daughter is safe with you, she'll be just fine. Part of me hates that trivial little fact, and the other part couldn't thank you enough. Because Jacob, she was mine, and then you stumble across her and now she's yours. I want to be the one that she comes to first, and I know that even if I could be with her, if I was there, it would be you she came to with everything. But, how can I possible be angry with you, when your going to save her, and love her as much as I know I could have._

_Take her to Alice if you can. I know you are furious with her, but she was doing the right thing. Please, for me, for Nessie, take her to Alice. I want her to have some part of me in her life._

_I've given you all the materials you need to start off fresh. I love you in all the right ways, Jacob. Take care of my baby, take care of yourself. Both of you need one another now, and your the only one I can trust. When everything is clear, please take my baby to Charlie, explain everything to him when its safe. Tell him how much I loved him, how it killed me to hurt him, but like him, I did what was best for me. And I don't regret any of it. Tell him he was the greatest father._

_Well I suppose I am finally using that lifetime of servitude. I never thought I would, but now that's all I have left. You owed me, now take care of my perfect sweetheart._

_And Jacob. Thank you, for everything. For bringing a little bit of sunshine into my dark place. Into the empty whole that was my on going life. I seem to always use up all you have, but you have your Nessie, my Renesmee, now. I hope I have some what made up for what I've taken. I love you. Goodbye._

_Your always be my best man._

_Bells._

I let the paper crease back into its original shape, placing back in the bag.

"Bella, I..." I couldn't finish as she cut me off.

"Don't go all mush, Jake." she chortled quietly.

"Bella, you in no way have to repay me for anything." I said, ignoring her. She rolled her eyes again.

"He doesn't Bella. If anything he should be repaying us. We gave him Renesmee." Edward said as he brought himself and Nessie back over to the two of us.

I reached my arms out, in hope of approval from Edward to hold Renesmee. He nodded and handed a smiling child over to me.

"Shall we return to the house? We are the only one's left in the clearing, besides the wolves." Edward added.

Renesmee giggled and climbed on my bare shoulders. And we all headed back towards the massive house. To begin a new chapter, a new segment.

Renesmee was finally able to be free, to do what most young children did. At last, I could be happy with her, grant her every wish. We all could. That fragment that was left in our history seemed so distant all ready, like a dream. Slowly it began to fade with every step I took. With Renesmee bonded to me, I could begin to forget about the terror I had felt for her. At last I could form the bonds I had seen Quil form with his Claire. Finally, I could just be with my Nessie.

My Nessie, my angel.


End file.
